


Washing Waterfalls

by Kiloueka



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Consent, Domestic, Dorkiness, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Light-Hearted, One Shot, Post-Canon, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Content, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, playful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27797788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiloueka/pseuds/Kiloueka
Summary: [Post E] 9S comes back to camp smelling like Satan's asshole so Anemone banishes the two of them until he gets clean. They go to a waterfall and behave like two idiots in love.
Relationships: 2B/9S (NieR: Automata)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36





	Washing Waterfalls

“Twoooo Beeeee,” 9S called out from across the camp. He waved his arms wildly and ran toward her as fast as his little leggies could carry him. 

2B lit up the moment she heard her Nines calling out to her. He had been gone all day doing gods knew what nerdy things Anemone sent him to do. She had finished her duties early and was busying herself helping Devola and Popola with repair work much to their dismay. 

As 9S got closer, 2B noticed he was covered head to toe in rusty sludge. What the hell had he been up to? A resistance member screamed and fled as he passed them, holding their hands over their face. 

_ What’s their problem?  _ She wondered…

And then the smell hit her. 

It was like a punch to the gut; a horrible concoction of decay and filth invaded her senses. Warnings blared in her mind and she recoiled, nearly tripping over an empty cot. 

“Nines,” she gagged, sitting down from the dizzying stench. “What...happened?” 

Devola and Popola quickly clambered over some medical equipment to get away as 9S was standing in the only exit. 

“Geez,” 9S pouted. “It’s not that bad, is it?”

2B nodded vigorously, eyes watering.

“Haha, oops, well.” 9S rubbed the back of his head--a blush formed under the layers of caked-on whatever on his face. “Well I was going to take a ba--” 9S screamed and stumbled back as a gunshot rang across the encampment. 

2B drew her sword instinctively but lowered it the moment she saw who fired the shot.

“Get the hell out of here 9S!” Anemone shouted from her post. She was the only one still in the area; everyone else had fled, leaving tools and supplies scattered across the ground. 

Anemone gagged before continuing. “Don’t come back until you don’t smell like...that.”

“But I was about to take a bath!” 9S whined.

“No! Not here! I don’t want that shit clogging my pipes.” Anemone waved her gun at 9S and he scampered out of camp, dragging the unfortunate 2B behind him.

“Fine. C’mon 2B, I know the perfect place to clean up.”

2B did her best not to breathe, but she began overheating before they even made it out of camp. She wiped the tears from her eyes and yanked 9S behind her.

“Nines please let me run in front.”

2B gave 9S a wide berth as they hurried toward the Forest Kingdom. Normally unbothered animals fled as 9S passed them and a small machine collapsed, screaming.

“Here, 2B!” 9S called from behind her when she ran past a large waterfall. There was a small pond below it that emptied into a stream. It was quite beautiful to look at but 2B’s attention was directed elsewhere. 

“I’ve always wanted to take a bath under a waterfall,” 9S mused, taking off his soiled coat. “Never really got the chance to before; honestly the bathtub with its warm water and sweet-smelling soaps always won over. But hey, now’s as good a time as ever!”

2B nodded with a grunt, hand still over her nose.

“Come on 2B,” 9S sang, pulling off his boots and pants. He waded in the water, shuddering at the sudden chill on his nasty skin. 

“I’m good for now,” 2B gagged; the smell had already permeated through the air all the way to where she was standing. 

“Aww, you’re no fun!” 9S pouted.

“9S please just clean whatever the hell that is off you first.” 

9S chuckled and dove under the water. 2B could see it quickly turning a sickly yellowish-brown and wondered if it would ever be safe to swim in there. She pulled her shirt over her face and settled down on a rock. 

9S resurfaced a minute later looking much cleaner. 2B breathed a sigh of relief but opted to wait a bit longer until the water was clear again before daring to approach. 

“I think my olfactory sensors might have been damaged when I first fell into that pit,” 9S hummed before disappearing beneath the rushing waterfall. 

“No kidding?” 2B said sarcastically. She watched the distorted image of 9S scrubbing his once silky silver hair and felt an urge pulling her forward. He did seem to be enjoying himself but…

“Is it safe to come over there yet?” 2B asked when 9S emerged from the water, sparkling in the afternoon sun.

“Oh, come on 2B,” 9S smirked. “Y’know it’s always safe around me.”

“You know what I mean,” she huffed. 

“I know, I’m just messing with you,” 9S smiled and violently blew his nose into the water until some small objects shot out of his nostrils. He caught one in his hand and examined it.

“Huh, wonder what tha--” 9S gagged and dove back under the waterfall. 2B couldn’t hold back a giggle as she watched him furiously scrub himself all over again. His pod floated over and began pushing the dirty water from the pond. 

Another minute went by and 9S cautiously emerged from under the rushing water. He shakily held his arm up to his face and took a tentative sniff. He didn’t look too pleased but he didn’t recoil in horror that time.

2B hadn’t even noticed her pod had vanished until it returned with a large chunk of bark piled high with flowers. 2B’s body relaxed as the sweet aroma pushed 9S’ stench away. 042 dumped the collection onto 9S, bark and all; it retreated when 9S yelped as the bark landed directly on his head. 

2B tentatively took a few steps forward. The stench had abated considerably and she was able to focus on the floral scents that overpowered it. 

9S brushed chunks of bark from his hair and shook his head. “It’s safe now, 2B! Come on in, it smells amazing now.” 9S paused and looked at something under the water. “Too amazing.” He reached under the water and pulled up something made of clear glass. He took a sniff and his eyes went wide.

“Hey!” 9S yelled, examining the small bottle. “Pod were these my oils?”

“Affirmative.” 

“All of them?!”

“Affirmative.”

9S whined and scooped up another few bottles. “Man, I spent a fortune on those. Don’t you think that’s a bit overkill?”

“No.”

9S let out an exaggerated groan and lobbed one of the bottles at 042. It plinked off its metal hull harmlessly and shattered on the ground. The boy dropped the other bottles back in the water and threw himself down dramatically. 2B took a tentative step into the water and relaxed as the aromas soothed her senses. They were almost too overpowering in their own way but at least 9S’ original stink was gone...mostly.

The cool water felt nice on her hot legs. She waded over to where 9S was splashing about and dove under; she hooked her arms under him and pulled him to the surface. 

“Ahh!” 9S sang. “My knight in shining armor! You saved me!” He swooned and leaned against 2B who instinctively held her breath. 

“You weren’t in any danger,” 2B said, tilting her head. “And I’m not wearing armor or anything shiny.” She exhaled slowly and took a small whiff of her partner. He smelled strongly of gardenia and...lilac? Ginger? Peach? She wasn’t good with smell names.

“I know, I know,” 9S pouted. “I was just messing with you.”

“Ah,” 2B hummed. “Well…” She bit her lip and searched her mind for a comeback of sorts. 

“Well, you’re--you sink like a rock and are not designed to swim, therefore, as your protector, it was my duty to rescue my damsel in distress.” She grew tense as she searched 9S’ face for a reaction.

9S snorted and kissed 2B on the cheek. “Heyheyyy you’re getting better at this.” 

2B smiled and let some tension go before she pulled them both to the edge of the pond to settle down against some rocks. 9S leaned against her, closed his eyes, and let out a dramatic sigh.

“This water feels good--aahhh.” 9S stopped as 2B began rubbing the oils that clung to his hair into his scalp. He all but melted under her touch and let out satisfied hums and purrs whenever she scratched behind his ears. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” he murmured almost too low for 2B to hear.

“Oh,” 2B paused and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Me too.”

They went silent and enjoyed the sounds of nature for a long while. Animals had begun wandering around again after the smell faded; 2B watched a small round bird flit around the pond thoroughly confused about the lingering essential oil smells that clung to the rocks. The birdsong and rushing water were so soothing 2B felt herself slipping off…

“Hey, 2B.” 9S nudged her.

“Huh?” She almost jumped. 

“Aren’t you uncomfortable in those clothes?”

“Not really,” she shrugged.

9S turned back to her and booped his nose against hers. “Are you suuuure?” He gave her a pouty look that made her pulse rise. His hands slid up behind him and tugged at her belt.

“Oh, right,” she said. “On second thought they do feel heavy and sticky.”

9S laughed softly and stood up. “Well,” he smirked. “Let’s get you out of them already and cleaned up. You look a little greasy from work today too.” He took her hand and pulled her to her feet. 

2B smiled and gazed at her love with soft eyes as he guided her to the waterfall. It was moments like these where the realization that this was all  _ real  _ came flooding back into her mind. 9S was here with her being so kind and friendly to her despite everything she did to him. He was  _ hers  _ and hers alone and nobody could ever take him away again, not even her. 

9S disappeared behind the rushing water and pulled 2B under not a second later. She shut her eyes and squeezed his hand as he slipped his other hand up the back of her shirt. She let out a small gasp and almost inhaled water but relaxed and allowed him to peel the shirt up and over her head. 

The chilly water felt much nicer against her bare back but 9S didn’t give her much time to take in the sensation before he tugged her pants down in one swift motion. He ran his hands slowly up her legs, then sides, then chest, tugging playfully at her underwear on the way up. 2B’s pulse raced and she let out a scorching breath that caused the water to bubble and steam. 

His touch was so gentle and smooth...she needed more. She hated their time apart and tried not to curse Anemone for sending them on different missions. But they were together again, alone with nothing to do for the rest of the day. She stared at him for a moment longer; a deep need rolled in her gut.

Instincts kicked in and 2B lunged on 9S, almost knocking him over. He squeaked and sputtered until 2B smashed her lips against his. The warmth of his body against the chill water felt sublime. 9S flailed his arms for a moment before resting them on the small of her back and just above her ass. She dug her nails into his shoulders and shoved her tongue deep into his mouth. 

9S let out a series of sputtering whimpers as he struggled to keep up with her advances. He pulled her closer and rubbed up against her, exciting her more. 

He was hers. No matter how smelly or greasy they got that fact would never change. 

2B was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t register that they had slowly been shifting backward until her foot landed on an algae-covered stone. The two of them plunged into the pond and flailed around before they scrambled back up to the surface. 

They both coughed up steaming water as they settled in the shallows. They sat chest-deep as they wiped the moisture from their faces and shook some from their hair.

2B blinked the last few droplets away and looked at 9S sitting by her. His hair was comically plastered to his face and his cheeks were stained a dusty pink. He looked at her with a cheesy grin on his face; 2B felt something warm bubbling up in her chest that wasn’t just the water she had swallowed.

It started as a small snort then grew to an awkward giggle and then to a full-blown, raspy laugh. The discomfort of boiling water in her chassis couldn’t stop her from letting go and allowing herself to let her emotions show.

9S quickly joined in and the two of them leaned on each other, puffing out clouds of steam with each shaky exhale. She squeezed his shoulder and pressed her forehead against his, her body still shaking with laughter. They looked each other in the eyes as their childish giggles died down and steam no longer escaped through their lips. 

9S let out a long, satisfied sigh and closed his eyes. His hand found hers and their fingers locked together. She did the same and hummed a short, off-key tune until 9S pulled away. She opened her eyes to see him looking at her with such wonder that she felt she might overheat even if she drank the entire pond to cool down. 

“I love you, 2B,” he hummed.

“I,” she choked, blushing and biting her lip. “I love you too, Nines.” She rested her forehead against his chest and pulled him closer. “Thank you.”

“Huh?” 9S tilted his head. He took 2B’s chin in his hand and pulled her toward him until they were gazing into each other’s eyes once more. “For what?”

“Everything,” she breathed. “I...you…” She paused and buried her face back in his chest. “You make me happy. And...you make me feel good things and…” she groaned. “I’m trying...”

“It’s okay, 2B,” 9S murmured and squeezed her knee. “You don’t have to tell me these things.”

“Wh-what do you mean?” 2B felt a chill run through her.

9S smirked and brushed his lips against her ear. “You can always show me instead.”

2B barely held back a snort. “I can do that,” she purred. She slid her hand up his thigh and under his boxers. 9S let out a squeak and jerked back. 

“Maaaaybe not right here though,” he sputtered. “It’s too cold!”

2B pouted. “It won’t be cold for long though.” She squeezed his thigh and teased out another squeak.

“T-true but I don’t want anyone seeing us...you know.” He turned away to hide his reddening face.

“We’re already mostly naked though.” 2B cupped his cheek and turned his face back to her. 

“Oh, geez…” 9S sank lower into the water. “So we are.”

“So..?”

9S whined and crossed his arms over his chest. “I wanna be dry and clean first, there’s too much mud here.”

2B frowned. “Fiiine,” she said with a smirk.

“Hey, it’s okay,” 9S hummed. “There’s other ways to show your feelings that won’t get rocks thrown at us.”

“Oh? Like what?” she smirked.

“Weeelllll…” 9S hummed. “There is oneee thing.” He backed up until he was out of arm's reach of 2B. “Think fast!” He slapped the water and sent a spray toward 2B’s face. She gasped and dove out of the way of the main splash but was splattered with the fine mist that followed. 

“Oh no! I’ve been hit!” 2B held her hands over her face and fell back against the rocks dramatically. She hoped she was doing it right; the whole “play” thing was still new to her. She cracked an eye open to gauge 9S’ reaction and saw him standing there biting his lip and holding back laughter. 

“Gods, you’re adorable,” he sighed through a dorky smile.

2B wasn’t sure if she could blush any harder than she already was. “Sh-shut up!” She sent a massive wave toward 9S and he stumbled back and crashed down into the water.

When he didn’t immediately resurface, 2B’s smile faded slightly, and worry crept up into the back of her mind.

“Nines?” she called out. No response. She rushed to where he landed; she could barely see him through all the silt he kicked up.

Before she even had a chance to reach out, 9S exploded from the water and tackled her, sending them both crashing down once again. 2B let out a yelp as she resurfaced with 9S firmly in her grip.

“Nines, you jerk,” she snorted. 

“Sorry, 2B,” he whined and shimmied back into the center. His smile faded when he noticed she wasn’t smiling back. He pulled her close to his chest and let her listen to his heartbeat. “I’m okay, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she hummed while squeezing his forearms. “Just scared me for a moment.” 

“You sure?” 9S wiped the hair from 2B’s eyes. She nodded and smiled and hoped it reached her eyes. 9S lit up and he sighed. 

“Well, if you’re really okay, then…” He untangled himself from her and stood up. “To make things even you can splash me again and I won’t do anything to stop you or try  _ any  _ funny business.” He waded back a few meters and held his arms out wide. “Hit me with your best shot!.”

2B snorted and sat up. Her hands sank into the silt as she repositioned herself. The thick muck squeezed through her fingers in an oddly satisfying way...which gave her an idea. She curled her fingers around the muck, making sure there were no rocks in it, then flung it directly into his face. It made its mark with a satisfying squelch, causing 9S to stumble back and let out a comical scream. 

“H-hey!” he sputtered, wiping the muck away. Before he even had a chance to open his eyes, 2B sent a giant spray toward him and washed most of the silt away in one go.

9S blinked away the remaining moisture and stared down 2B. She could see the corner of his lips twitching and she slowly shifted herself into a better position. Her hand came up and--

“Cannonball!” 9S yelled and fell flat against the water’s surface. She covered her face from the spray and immediately dove in on top of him. She tackled him and pulled him to the surface; her arms and legs tangled with his and they splashed around in the shallows. 

9S grabbed fistfuls of 2B’s hair and pulled her against him. The vague pain made her pulse rise and she shoved him into the muck. He squirmed under her completely concealed by the dirty water but 2B didn’t need to see him for her lips to find their mark on his. 

The two of them sank deeper into the mud as they nipped and kissed each other wherever their lips touched. 2B ignored her rising internal temperatures and kept going and going until 9S tapped at her arm repeatedly. She let up immediately and the two of them rocketed up for air together.

They inhaled the chill air in tandem and came to rest in the shallows. 9S’ sides heaved as he exhaled more steam and 2B could barely see past her own cloud. 9S let out a satisfied sigh and turned his head toward her, smiling and gazing at her with half-lidded eyes. 2B brushed the hair from his face and planted a kiss on his cheek. 

“Hey,” she hummed.

“Hmm?” 9S adorably tilted his head.

2B sat up and wiped the muck off of her back then climbed onto him. “Are we gonna be here all day?” she whispered, leaning closer.

“We can if you want to.” He grabbed her ass and squeezed. 

2B shook her head and rolled her hips against his. “It’s cold here, so...let’s go home. I want you to warm me.”

“I-I can do that,” he squeaked and squeezed his legs together.

2B smiled and stood up nice and slow, making sure to brush against his crotch one more time to hear him squeal one more time. She rinsed the silt off her legs and looked around.

“Oh no,” she gasped.

“Huh, what’s wrong?” 9S jumped up and followed her gaze.

“Where are our clothes?”


End file.
